Visual DNA

It's been almost a month since my last entry. Some great things have happened then, as well as some not so great things. I guess that's just part of life. I have learned more about my friends and their dedication or lack there of as well some that I didn't think were friends, have managed to get pretty close. Life is about gains and losses... and that totally sums up mine right now. I have received closure on some things and some things I'm sure I will never understand, so I do not dare to tread that ground. It seems lately anything that I can possibly manage to screw up, I do. Obviously, I have this thing where things cannot be great and just enjoy it, because then I always get too paranoid and just expect it to go down hill. If it doesn't head that direction on it's own, I must immediately force it that way.... I could go on and on, but fortunately I have better things to do.

October 9, 2007- Dunno why this didn't post the first time.

I have gotten so much accomplished today. Lacy is still giving me a run for my money and making rethink the whole kid thing, but she is fun and just keeps me smiling. I love her to death. Mama and I were talking about how pretty she was and how much she has grown. She is so smart and social. It's too funny. I don't really have much other to say, still missing Zac, but he is doing a great job of staying in touch. Lacy has her own blog now. If you want the address, let me know. Lots of pictures are posted... Anyway, I guess I need to get some laundry done. Ciao!

Adventures

Last night we went to Opelika and LaGrange to pick up the girls. Mom, Zoe and I spent the afternoon in LaGrange. We stopped in Valley for some Arby's and priester's samples from the boot outlet. It was yummy. I scared mama with a trick mouse in a box and Zoe with a man in an outhouse. We laughed and laughed. Once we finally pick up Brook and Bree, we headed home after wishing Brad a happy birthday. This morning, we completed our klan with Courtney. We played with Lacy, went to the park, went to my grandmother's old home place and a few more... adventures. The girls love to take adventures, which generally consists of me just telling them, "Let's go." Then us just driving and them finding out once we get there. They were so funny at Nanny's. They couldn't believe that things existed back then. Actually, it was stuff from the last residents, but they thought it was from waaaaayyyy back in the day. We spend a good bit of the afternoon at my house. The plan was to pick up pecans, but I don't think that was very successful. Daddy and the boys came over so everyone played and talked and it was LOUD!!!! Mama said she should have had that many kids and I said that I would have ran away a long time ago. Anyway, it was just very nice to be out and about. There were really no fusses and no arguing. A few little spats at times, but it all worked out. They have all fallen asleep now, but before they did they said, "Can we do it again tomorrow?" That just makes me smile because soon they will not want to spend their Saturday night with their grandmother and their aunt. They have been making plans for my baby and even choosing my last name as well as my children's names. They are just too funny about it all. We concluded that when I do have children, they will be spoiled because my girls will be old enough to do the spoiling.... of course they say that now, when the time comes, we will see if they actually have time to babysit. Anyway, I am going to try and relax a bit now, just wanted to share about our great day. I was going to write a lot more, but I am just tired and it all seems so blah... lol

Tuesday- Only 17 more days....

It's only 17 days until my birthday. Hooray!!! I love holidays... of any kind, but especially birthdays. I think out of all the months that I could have been born, I am glad that I was born in October. It's one of my favorites! Anyway, it's a stormy rainy day today and it's just a good day to do nothing. So, I worked, rain some errands and came home and baked a cake for my mom. She is doing a great job on not smoking, so anything she wants... I try to give her. Anyway, I think I am getting sick. I just feel kind of yucky and stuffy. I have service league tonight and garden club meeting tomorrow. I do not know if I will feel up to going. I also want to do my daily walk today, but the weather kind of has put a damper on that... literally. ;) I'm off tomorrow and Friday instead of my usual Thursday and Friday, so I plan on just realxing and doing laundry. I don't really have much new thing to report. I have listed some stuff on ebay... I love that place. It's very addicting. Aside from that, things are pretty calm on the home front. Still able to hear from Zac daily and of course that just helps get my day started off right. Sometimes we don't have much to say, then other times, we are just as talkative as ever. At any rate, I still enjoy just holding the phone listening to him breath. Sometimes I wish I could just pick up the phone and call him instead of waiting for him to call me. I guess that's what they make email for, but I need instant gratification... The phone keeps ringing off the hook, but it's really no one I care to talk to, so I guess I should probably answer so they will stop calling. I don't recognize the number, so that's why I haven't answered. Anyway, gonna go enjoy the storm.

Life is good...

Well, it's a nice fall morning. I awoke early this morning to tend to Lacy, it was so crisp and cool outside. It made me remember one of the many reasons why fall is my favorite season. Here I sit enjoying my first cup of cocoa of the season and just reflecting on how good my life really is. Sure there are bad days, but that's part of life. I had a pretty awesome week. I've had a wonderful time hanging with my mom, great talks with Zac daily, gotten in some exercise every.single.day... which is a big deal for me and have seen all of my friends this week. I've talked to all of my family and all is well with them. You know so many times we take things for granted, when life's greatest pleasures are all in the little things. Take my cup of cocoa for instance, it's a silly thing perhaps, but I love fall and I love the chill in the air and so the cocoa just put the icing on the cake. I can already tell today is going to be a great day... and if by some chance it ends up being not so great... then that will be fine too. We can try again tomorrow. Enjoy your Saturday!!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Life is just happening right now. I have said before that life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. Well that is exactly how I feel right now. It's funny you spend all this time planning things and it doesn't matter what you plan, chances are it's not going to work out like you had hoped, imagined, planned, etc... I had planned to have a decent job by now... well that hasn't happened. I had planned for Zac to still be in the US... that didn't happen either. I had planned on many things, yet none of them went as planned... so in other words... life happened. It has been over a month since I last blogged on blogger. Zac left for Afghanistan Saturday. He has made it there safely, but still has one more flight to catch before he gets to his actual destination. I was able to talk to him briefly this morning, then my messenger messed up and I could not see the messages. I have os much to say and so many emotions to convey, I do not even know where to begin. I am happy because I am totally happy for the first time in many parts of my life, yet at the same time other parts of my life are lacking that feeling. I have hurt my mom so much and that hurts me. I love her more than she could ever know and I know that no matter how much I try to show her or try to convey the depth of my love to her, she will never know. I feel like such a failure. I just don't know what else to do. The job outlook is still shady, the money is still non-existent and to top it all off... I feel like my mom hates me. Ok so she doesn't hate me, but she doesn't like me very much right now. I can't really say that I blame her. I want to do things right and not screw my life up again, but it seems like every time things start looking a little brighter a huge storm comes my way. I just feel like I am the world's biggest screw up most days lately. This is not the path I chose for my life- well I guess it is indirectly, but not exactly what I had envisioned or imagined. Hopefully all of that will change soon and I will have my act together.

On a more positive note- Zac and I are great. I miss him so much and he hasn't even been gone 48 hours yet. I am so thankful that he took some time off work before leaving. We were able to spend a good bit of time together and just really enjoy each other’s company, which had always been on a schedule before. It’s amazing how truly blessed I have been in the short 5 months of being with Zachry. God has just shown His love time and time again. Zac and I are so much alike it is unreal at times. It' also amazingly cool. This last week, we went on a 150 mile bike ride through the Georgia mountains. That was really fun. Then we went to the fair on Thursday and pigged out on everything. I got sick on one of the rides- which has never happened before, but it just made some memories. After we left the fair, we had just gotten in the truck and reached in the abck seat and handed me a box. It had a beautiful bracelet in there. It was originally supposed to be my birthday present, but he decided to go ahead and give it to me as a combo anniversary/birthday gift. He figured that I would have rather have it directly from him, than given to me after he was gone. However, that was a very nice thought that he was thinking that far ahead in his planning. Anyway, Friday we had dinner with the family and then we went for ice cream. Saturday was the day he left, so not much happened that day. We brught Lacy down to Roanoke, then headed back to Dallas for him to finish packing. Anyway, I was able to talk to him briefly on messenger this morning and maybe I will get to talk more later. I guess I need to get busy cleaning now, but I will try and blog more regularly. Remember to pray for Zac's safety and for my situation with the house, car and job search. Much love to you all!

It's been almost a month since the last blog...

things have been crazy. Let's see, what is the latest news that you guys need to be caught up on... the divorce is a no go right now. So much for Robert taking care of it, of course I should have known that I couldn't depend on him. I have been staying in Georgia lately because I am sitting with someone at the hospital. I am still looking for a steady job, but for now this is cool. Zac is going to Afghanistan for a year and a half... He will be leaving on the 23rd. He will be home for 2 weeks every 4 months. It will be hard, but it will definitely be a true test... of our devotion and love. Of course I am sad, but at the same time I'm excited for him. It will be good for me too. I need to concentrate on me for once in my life and that's what I intend to do. Whether or not it will work, I have no clue, but we shall see. I have a tendancy to get sidetracked to say the least, but also if I'm really into something, I go crazy with it and that is my goal with this. I want to get myself re-established and finish all of my degrees... lol That in itself is a job. My mom is awesome- I just have to brag for a minute. She is trying to quit smoking and is doing tremedously well. I am so proud of her. I was home some this week and I did not see her smoke even the first cigarette. That was a huge deal! I can't wait to spend some time with her this weekend. I am going home this afternoon and have been so excited about it. I do wish I could see Zac before I went and I could, but I need to see my mom. I was kind of a not so nice person this morning towards Zac and I am feeling totally terrible for it. I sometimes say things because I am upset and then I so wish I could take them back later. I have just felt terrible all day because of it. We had a great night last night and then I have to ruin it by being a b with an itch this morning. I don't like starting the day off negatively, especially when I don't get to see that person or make things right. Anyway, I guess that is really the just of things now. Oh I almost forgot, Zac was my knight in shining armour last week. My truck had been acting crazy, I thought the transmission was going bad on it. Turns out it was just the spark plugs and wires and Zac fixed it for me. Even though he isn't into fixing cars, he did it for me. I joked with him and told him that I would never doubt his love for me. He truely is an amazing person. I am so blessed.