The unexpected...

Sometimes you think you know what you want and you have it, but maybe it isn't all that you want or maybe it wasn't what you wanted to begin with. Sometimes you don't know what you want until it's gone and then it might just be too late. There comes a point in time when you have to give up all you've been holding on to and face the reality that maybe your life isn't as perfect as you wanted it to be and it will never be. At that point it is imperative that you choose what is best for you and what will make you the happiest. It might not be what you think want to do, but it might just be exactly what you've been hoping you would find. Even if you weren't looking. At one point in my life I thought that I had it all and nothing could be any better. It wasn't long after that, that I realized what I had wasn't all it was craced up to be, especially when the one thing you held onto for so long, didn't return the favor. Now I am comign to realize that I am me and I love who I am. I am not the me that I have always been, but I am the me who I am now. I like this new me. I do things that I would have never done before and I feel comfortable with myself. I am running away from that miss sunshine/ stepford wife attitude and living my life for the first time ever. It feels awesome. Do I wish that my marriage would not have fallen apart? Absolutely, when you get married it is for life and you are supposed to do anything and everything to hold on to that. I did just that, but I couldn't hold on any longer and the rope finally broke. It has been an eye opening experience and a reality check to say the least. However, I love my life and I wouldn't change a thing. I don't regret things I have done or said and I won't either. Would I have chosen a different path if I would have known the outcome of the path chosen... I hope not. We all learn from our life moments, mistakes, successes, failures and heartbreaks. It only makes us stronger and prepares us for who or what lies ahead. No one goes into a marriage thinking it will only last a year or two and of course we don't plan on that... however life sometimes has a way of working things differently than we had planned. It just adds pages to a chapter in our book of life, we just have to remember that the best is yet to come. We don't know the plans that God has for us, but we have to realize that we can never even come close to realizing the greatness of His master plan, and no matter how great we think our plan is... it is nothing compared to God's.

My head hurts

Well, I've had a very long yet boring day. I have a migraine from somewhere South of here... I went all sorts of places today, but ended up coming home around 7 and did not get anything accomplished. I hope I will feel more up to it tomorrow. My orders ame in so those will be delivered tomorrow. I will be all caught up and that's a good feeling. I guess I'm ging to chill for now, I am talking to Kim, so I will give her my undivided attention.

Oh it is definitely a Monday today...

I am so ILL!!!! You ever have those days when everyone gets on your nerves. I'm having that day today. Even people I only know online have me p'od. The worst part about it is, I haven't even talked to those people. lol I think I need therapy... of some kind at least. I have that dang bite and it hurts like heck!! My lymph nodes are swollen because of it, but what to do. Can't get in to see a dr so my arm will probably rot off. I so need to get in a better mood. I think I need to do something that I want to do today. I am working right now on prom photos and checking over the orders that came back from the lab today, but yet I just feel blah! I need drugs!!! There is a bowl of lifesaver jelly beans on my desk, but I am fighting the urge. They aren't a fruit or a vegestable, so I will be even be p'od at my self if I eat any of those... sure doesn't stop me for fantasizing about the taste. lol My photos are about halfway uploading, man I need to stop taking so many. lol I don't have time for this. I think I am going to take a brief walk while they are finishing, maybe that will help me feel better.

So... My butt is tired!!!

Literally!!! I did not go to bed until 4 yesterday morning, then got up at 8 to drive my Dad to get my little brother. It was like 13 hours total. To make the trip even worse... my dad is not into music like I am. It made him nervous. lol My reply was take a nerve pill old man. lol Of course being the perfect daughter I turned the music off entirely. No one would say anything. SO that even made me sleepier. My little sister went with us. Occassionally she would say something.. but she pretty much slept which made me jealous! lol I wanted to sleep! Finally I had to turn the music back on. I told my dad, that I was sorry but I couldn't handle it I was tired and they weren't talking me so the music was keeping me awale. Finally he was ok with it, if I agreed to turn the bass down. I mean seriously dude... so I turned it downa bit and man it sucked! My sister was on my side on this one... she said the music was relaxing. lol My little brother Chris is the sweetest little boy. He evens opens doors for his sisters and he is only 10!!! It takes me back to when Michael was his age, I miss those times. That was when he liked me. The now almost 15 year old does good to even respond to a question. He did however ask me to go eat lunch with him when his school had a thing for family day. However, by the time the day came, I was no longer allowed to go. He said I gave his friends too much information. lol I had done enough damage according to him. I did a shoot at his school a few weeks back and his buddies were hanging around while I was shooting. They said that last year Michael acted like he was dumb. Acted being the operative word here... I responded, "Yeah. That boy is smarter than he lets on to be. Don't him fool you." I thought I did a good thing to take up for him... however, according to him this was the wrong thing to do!

I am trying to cleaqn up my scrapbooking room, it is a disaster. I have been wanting to sew lately, but I couldn't get to my stuff. lol, so I figured I better do something. Plus, it is a real downer when your scrapping buddy calls to see if you want to scrapbook and your reply is, "I have scrapbooking stuff in there?" lol I knew it of course, but couldn't tell you where it was. lol

I got bit by another spider or something... I had a med consult today with Mrs. Bonnie. I have instructions to go to the dr tomorrow and get an antibiotic as it is tunnelling.. ewww and now my lymphnodes are swollen. Thanks alot! I know one thing the bite hurts, but I think the lymph nodes might hurt even worse than that! I guess I will get back to cleaning,, so I can have my nightly chats with tha girls. See ya!

Oh, Quick niece updates... Courtney, (middle niece, 7) has been chosen to be tested for gifted... and everyone says she is me made over.. hmm now I believe them. ;)

Bree (last niece, 6) is only in Kindergarten, but is really enjoying the Goosebumps series. This girl reads larger books than I do.

Brook (oldest, 10) had her pre-prientation for middle school. I'm about in tears over that. I have chosen her extracurricular activites for her... lol I even convinced her that she would be adorable in a golf outfit and that she should be on the golf team.

Cass (newest addition, 17) is currently looking for a prom date. Why? BEcause her other date is a jerk and well.. he doesn't deserve to be accompanied by someone as lovely as she.

Ok, think that's really it now. Later!!!