Welcome to my blog...

Prepare yourself for the roller coaster ride of emotions... Be forewarned, this site is my vent site... I cannot be held responsible for what may be said on this blog. Often it's just little tidbits of useless information, but occassionally a wobbler post slips in and all my feelings are revealed. Sometimes they are sweet, sad or cheerful.... but oh when they aren't... well just let me go ahead and apologize now. lol What did you expect?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Random ramblings...

I'm bored, so I thought I would come here and blog. I haven't done it in a while, and really have no particular topic so prepare yourself for random randomness. So... let's see, what has been going on lately? I'm getting a divorce... not sure if everyone knows that, but it's true. Everyone is in shock, but it's been a long time coming actually. Our marriage has been over way longer than we have been seperated, I'm just glad that we both realize that and are trying to both be civil. Some more civil than others, but I'm not going there... Do you ever wonder if people do things because they genuinely want to or if it's just to see the reaction of others. I'm not necessarily talking shock factor here, just lately some people have made certain choices, statements that really just confused the heck out of me. I don't know if they are sincere or if they just want to see how I react... honestly they probably don't even know the answer, but I digres... Anywho... moving along, the job hunt is on for real! I'm still doing photography, but unfortunately that does not pay too well for a single gal. When I had a husband, it was awesome... now, it's actually depressing, but that's cool. Everything happens for a reason and will work out the way it should... I just wish God would clue me in on when that will be. I'm not asking for exact date and time, but you know a general idea would not hurt at all. ;) I have put in my application all over the place. I would mind moving and having a fresh start, but at the same time that is so scary to leave my comfort zone. Robert and I had talked about how it would be nice before, but we would have had each other... all I will have is ME! That scares the heck out of me. I'm really excited about it though. Right now, I'm just praying that God will send me where he wants me to go and provide the funds for it. I'm totally spoiled by the cost of living in Roanoke, but that place has no jobs... so I'm going to have to step out of my comparitive shopper mode and go where the dough is... I have my friends that I have had forever, and it scares me leaving my comfort zone. However, when I lived in Auburn, I loved it. I didn't have friends there to begin with, but I did gain a few. My sister and aunt were there, my sister and I became a lot closer when I lived there and even though I missed my Mama it was totally worth it living there. It was fun too. It was the first time I had my own place. Then Robert moved in shortly after, but it wasn't really MY own place being that he paid for everything, so I guess really if we want to look at it from a technically speaking aspect, I haven't had my own place. Robert paid for everything. When he moved to Roanoke and I stayed in Auburn, he still paid the bills, well he supplied the money for the bills. Everytime I worked, that was just fun money... it will be an adjustment, but I think it's going to be SUPER! Yeah, I just said super... lol I have no clue where that came from... I guess it was just floating around and my brain decided to throw it out there for me to share with the world.

On a totally different note, yet kind of the same... I am happier now than I think I have ever been. I don't mean happy with material things, because right now all of my stuff is at my old house and I'm staying with Mom, but I just mean in general, that high on life feeling that I get from time to time... I'm totally lovin' it! I'm finding a whole new side of me and it's very cool. Each day brings a new surprise and I can't wait to see the person I have been surpressing all along that was just dying to break free. Ok, so maybe that's a little stretch because I haven't exactly gone wild. Despite the opnion of others... I have not! I have been open to new things that I would have never given a second thought to before and I just feel more free. I totally feel like I could take on the world. So many people have commented that I'm much more laid back and if you know me in real life, then you know that is a big deal! I would love to have been laid back, however, there just wasn't enough time and I liked things too structured for that to happen. I'm just kind of taking it all in and processing things still, but I'm cool with that. I'm a nice person... hehe well I have always been a nice person, but I was more snobby and high strung... very much in fact, and that is not me anymore. I'm very thankful too, because I don't like to be stressed and that is exactly what I was becoming... I can't wait to see what the future holds! So that's all of my randomness for now. I guess I should go and check on dinner, but I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out of my head. Have a great afternoon!

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